ticktock, ya don't stop

picture it. my house, 3am.

insomnia's hitting me hard, and i can tell i'm going to be up for awhile. i figure i might as well browse some spring collections, since back in september, i purposely refrained from keeping tabs on them - i was on this "live in the fashion moment" kick and too busy fleshing out my fall wardrobe.

3:10am: i'm picking out shows at random, lingering on each look and letting impressions really sink in because, well, i have that kind of time. i'm ambivalent about daughters, and phoebe philo, i love you, but i'm kind of digging hannah macgibbon at chloé.

3:30am: i decide to check on he of the cheeky slogan tees and more than a passing resemblance to color me badd's bryan abrams, mr. henry holland himself. laying eyes on agyness deyn in flowered mom jeans, i raise a skeptical eyebrow for all of five seconds before i'm sold. while topshop's been using my childhood fashion templates as runway fodder, house of holland's apparently been dabbling in my childhood fashion aspirations. while i didn't have the artistic ability to sketch floral denim, i can recall talking my mom into buying me a pair, shorts with a high waist and rolled cuffs. this was around the same time i won the battle for a pink blossom hat.

3:37am: long story short, house of holland has got a stronghold on my nostalgia, and i've fallen for it, hook, line, and sinker. i'll look through the collection several times tonight, but not before i settle on look number four, laura biokhina in the sickest pair of jeans i've seen in quite some time: low-slung light denim slashed into a simultaneously sloppy and neat polka-dot pattern. i immediately begin searching for them with all the quickness my high-speed internet will allow.

3:52am: my research reveals that they went on sale at selfridge's in london in september, but i can't seem to find out where they're currently on sale. insomnia and shopping addiction converge dangerously for a moment when i make a complete impulse buy on these re-issued 1966 levi's.

4:00am: and then it hits me. diy. i've had many a diy inspiration, but rarely an execution. but so help me, with this blog as my witness, i'm going to have a pair of polka-dot cutout jeans within the next few weeks. consider it a new year's resolution.

4:05am: i consider using men's jeans for a slouchy fit throughout the leg, but seeing how they sit so well on the model's hips, i realize i need something more fitted. unfortunately, aside from a brief flirtation with flares back in the day, pretty much all of my jeans are form-fitting.

4:10am: then i remember the bottom left drawer of my dresser, filled with unworn clothes that i once thought feasible for some kind of alteration. i pull out a pair of ancient black gap jeans. you know how they used to - or maybe they still do, i don't know - have the tags specifying what kind of cut it is? flare, straight leg, boot cut..? well, this pair says 'reverse' and for the life of me i can't understand why, unless it means they took a good fit and reversed it. it sits high and tight on the waist, is loose around the hips and thighs, and fitted around the lower calf. the leg inexplicably stops above the ankles. i can understand why i packed them away, but trying them on again, i start to think that maybe i could make them work..

4:13am: i tell the pack rat inside me to stop rationalizing. i haven't worn these jeans in the years since i was forced to buy them - i can distinctly remember my vehement protests - and i'm not going to. until i find a better pair, i'm cutting these babies up.

4:20am: back at my computer, i scan the runway image again, cursing style.com for only providing detail shots of certain collections and not others.

4:30am: i'm slowly gravitating towards gojane.com and other shopping sites again, seeking to spend money i don't have. i realize i'm going to have to call it a night, or my bank account won't live to tell the tale.

4:50am: i'm still browsing online stores.

5am: i finally drag myself to bed. it's so quiet in the street that i can hear the five am ferry signaling its departure to all who care to listen. i fall into a fitful sleep, with visions of polka dots and bright leggings dancing in my head.