such a fright seeing them in my dark cupboard with my great big cake

there's something about holidays that sends my stress level skyrocketing.

i can pick any calendar day at random and hype it to the high heavens if it happens to coincide with something planned like a vacation, a party, or even a particularly exciting ups shipment, but when it comes to something that should inherently be kind of a big deal, like christmas or thanksgiving, i'm suddenly stricken by a major bout of performance anxiety.

i deal with the stage fright by compulsively downplaying imminent jubilees with a vengeance, but the irrationality hits a fever pitch when it comes to my birthday. i'm not being coy at all when i implore friends and family to treat my birthday like any other day. i'm a shy girl to begin with, so all of that annual attention and fanfare paired with my longstanding anxieties is about enough to send me scurrying into birthday hiding.

a peek inside pandora's closet, circa 1990.

it wasn't always like this - as the only girl and baby of the family, i have vivid memories of compiling a long list of birthday wishes (barbies, mostly) and expecting the full princess treatment on my special day. well, friends, i'm happy to report that at long last the pendulum is beginning to swing back. no, i'm not reverting back to spoiled brattiness, but i am actually excited about celebrating my birthday after several years of merely tolerating it.

" hop in my chrysler, it's as big as a whale,
and it's about to set sail... "

my boyfriend - mr. pandora? mandora? - and i will have been together for four years come september, but far-flung summer plans always prevent us from being together on my birthday. this year, he's taking me upstate to kate's lazy meadow, a cluster of quirky cabins and stationary airstream trailers in the catskills. all the "suites" are decked out in kitschy mid-century decor by owner kate pierson of the b-52s, and though the tinkerbell trailer we wanted is booked (top right), we're equally excited to hunker down in the sakajawiya suite instead.

to be perfectly honest, this whole great outdoors thing is pretty new to me, so i don't know exactly what to expect. still, when i let my imagination fill in the blanks, i see home-cooked meals, swimming in the lake, and breathtaking mountain views. so despite our lack of a trailer and my lack of cooking skills, i'm modeling my getaway wardrobe after lucille ball's tacy collini in the long, long trailer - all silk scarves and sunhats, cuffed button-downs, full skirts, and high-waisted slacks. i'm no good at playing the happy homemaker, but i can certainly dress the part if i put my mind to it.

i spotted this striped top when i was at monk in williamsburg the other day and couldn't let it pass by. just the night before, i had been browsing modcloth and lamenting the fact that a practically identical sea green version was already sold out. coincidence? hardly. and at fifteen dollars, i didn't even have to dip into my savings to bring it home with me. next on my list? a great straw hat and a picnic basket.

twenty-two days and counting..

[via lovely disco, we heartit, kate's lazy meadow, modcloth, google]